|Robinson at a refugee shoot yesterday|
Sunday, 22 January 2017
Tuesday, 17 January 2017
|Artist's impression: Have you seen this woman?|
Police are investigating after the disappearance of Mike Peinovich's wife yesterday. According to one of their neighbours, a buck-toothed, hooked nosed man with peyot and binoculars, she was last seen in Pernovich's luxury kibbutz in Boro Poark in New Yoark, after having taken a shower and was heading towards the oven.
Monday, 2 January 2017
|A nervous R2D2 yesterday|
In a sensational scoop, we can reveal that actors Kenny Baker and Carrie Fisher are in fact alive and well and hiding out at a backstreet bar in Benidorm. Both looked fit and well for members of the entertainment industry.
Thursday, 29 December 2016
We will finally see justice as Saturday draws to a close, when 2016 is finally executed for the mass murder of celebrities this year. He was finally caught after doing mother-daughter combo Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher and now joins 1666, 1918 and 1945 as one of the most evil years ever.
Tuesday, 27 December 2016
|Filthy: Judd Mick|
Tributes have been sliding in after the death of popular Northern clubland singer Judd Mick at the age of 52 from a bum-banditry-related disease. Mick, who was born Giorgios Milo Flopadikupmiars in Greece, where they invented that sort of thing, leaves behind a gaping hole in the entertainment industry.
Tuesday, 20 December 2016
|Merkel could only give a half-hearted Roman salute today|
Angela Merkel failed her heavy goods test in spectacular style last night, a three-point turn going disastrously wrong and killing a dozen onlookers. It was her second attempt at her driving test, her first in Nice during the summer again resulting in the deaths of many spectators as she attempted an emergency stop.
Monday, 19 December 2016
|Slippery when wet: an angry Tony Blair this morning|