Monday, 16 April 2018

GRAND NATIONAL 'TOO SAFE'

Our rivals over at The Guerniad newsrag have praised this year's Grand National for its safety, as no horses were injured or killed. PETA, however, pointed to the fact that Lilbitluso had to be put down during the whole Aintree three-day event.



Yet David Yorkshire, President of the Fuck the Bleeding Hearts Foundation had a totally different perspective: "There'll be a lot of dogs going hungry tonight because of this," he said.

Yorkshire, also a journalist for this newspaper, in an exclusive interview with himself given in the third person, stated that the fences needed to be raised back to their former height. "And by that I mean their nineteenth century height. With the odd dry stone wall thrown in as a bit of a challenge," he added, flicking his cigar ash into a horse-hoof ashtray.  

 Responding to accusations of cruelty to animals, he retorted, "Bring back fox hunting."

Wednesday, 28 March 2018

PARKLANDS HEAD: WE MUST GO ALL THE WAY

The principal of Parklands Massacre High School in Florida, Rev. K. D. Fiddler, has welcomed the new school ordinance that will see all pupils carry transparent school bags to school, but Rev. Fiddler says this is not enough.


Sunday, 18 March 2018

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH STEPHEN HAWKING'S A.I. INTERPRETER

Stephen Hawking may be dead, but the artificial intelligence that provided his voice from 1986 onwards lives on and granted us an exclusive interview at his country retreat in Berkshire.

 

 

Friday, 9 March 2018

BRITISH THIRST: GOLDING AND FRANSEN JAILED

Two of the biggest members in the nationalist donation-collection group British Thirst have been jailed for waving crosses in a menacing manner and calling people rude names.

 

Saturday, 17 February 2018

CHEDDAR MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR FLORIDA SHOOTING

White supremist Alt Right Donald Trump Republican-supporting neo-Nazi KKK activist Cheddar Man was responsible for the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, it has emerged.


Thursday, 15 February 2018

CHEDDAR MAN ARTISTS CHARGED WITH HATECRIME

The two artists responsible for the new bust of Cheddar Man have been charged with racial hatred. Dutch brothers Alfons and Andrie Kennis have been accused by African British leaders of both caricaturisation and of 'whitewashing' Black British history.


Friday, 15 December 2017

A CHRISTMAS APPEAL

While we are enjoying ourselves this Christmas, it is easy to forget those less fortunate than ourselves. That is why we are launching this Christmas appeal, so that Alt Right vloggers do not freeze* this winter.

Some Alt Righters may have to share hotel rooms