Tributes have been sliding in after the death of popular Northern clubland singer Judd Mick at the age of 52 from a bum-banditry-related disease. Mick, who was born Giorgios Milo Flopadikupmiars in Greece, where they invented that sort of thing, leaves behind a gaping hole in the entertainment industry.
Some say that Judd Mick was at the back-end of his career, but his one-time collaborator Andrew Wrigly disagrees: "He had so much more to give and had not yet bottomed out. I tried to keep him on the straight and narrow, but when he left me, I was afraid of this massive cock-up, " he said. He stopped there, overcome with emotion and running out of innuendos and euphemisms.
The news came as a blow to Sir Ben Elton John, who gobbled down a few extra Daraprims with his Prozac. "I'm completely smacked off my tits at the news," he stated.
Ladrokes have now given these latest odds for the next celebrity to go:
Holly Johnson 2/1
Boy George 3/1
Marc almond 3/1
Jimmy Somerville 5/l
Andy Bell 6/1
Tom Cruise 33/1
LGBTJQ+ activists were concerned by the lack of heterosexual celebrities on the list.
"Well, that's a first. Anyway, I have it on good authority that the Grim Reaper is committed to equal opportunities. I am against any form of stereotyping," a Ladbrokes spokesman said laconically in a Northern accent, leaning on the bar with a pint in his hand.