Tuesday, 21 November 2017
Saturday, 18 November 2017
Friday, 17 November 2017
In the latest sex sensation to rock Jollywood, Mr Sulu, whose only role to date, has been to play the character George Takei in various reality TV shows, has accused Captain Kirk of sexually molesting him as he tried to steer the USS Enterprise around a white dwarf.
Sunday, 5 November 2017
1960s Blactivist Martin Luthah Kang has been exposed as a Communist, according to the FBI dossiers on the JFK assassination opened by President McDonalds J Parp. The dossier also revealed Martin Luthah Kang's kang has been exposed to many hoes other than his biatch.
Friday, 3 November 2017
Tom Cruise is the latest celebrity to be exposed as being a right pervert, following allegations that he raped a puppy on the set of Cocktail.
A black labrador by the name of Sambo has come forward to reveal that Cruise sexually assaulted his great-grandfather, who can only be called Lucky for legal reasons, during the filming of the euphemistically titled film Cocktail.
Rumours about his sexuality have dogged Cruise all his career and his girlfriends have been hounded by the press as suspected beards. He certainly has not pawed them in the same way as in the revealing photo above.
Yet fellow Scientologist John Travolta claimed the press were "barking up the wrong tree", before dashing off to catch the last flying saucer to Aldebaran. However, Kevin Spacey, who was attending a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with friend Noah Schnapp last night said Cruise was "a right dirty bastard" and that he was "not surprised".
As the dog was still only a puppy at the time, it is not known yet whether Cruise will be charged with bestiality or paedophilia.
Tuesday, 8 August 2017
Monday, 7 August 2017
Sunday, 6 August 2017
Saturday, 5 August 2017
Friday, 4 August 2017
Thursday, 3 August 2017
Tuesday, 1 August 2017
President Donald J Parp has sensationally shouted 'You're fired!' to Apprentice candidate and token midget Anthony Scaramouche, after the poison dwarf bard's string of vulgar ditties about members of Parp's cabinet.
|Anthony Scaramouche has been put back in his box|
Monday, 31 July 2017
The Kurdish Iraqi who shot and killed a nightclub doorman in Konstanz, Germany, has been revealed not to be a terrorist. The shooting has therefore been normalised by the authorities.
|The stuffed remains of ISIS terrorist Bruno|
Sunday, 30 July 2017
Saturday, 29 July 2017
A white Palestinian from the United Arab Emirates, who was refused asylum in Germany because of racism, stabbed seven people, one fatally, in Hamburg yesterday. But police spokesgenderneutralperson Andy Grote has told everyone not to worry, as 'He was known as an Islamist and not a Jihadist.'
Thursday, 20 July 2017
It is with some sadness that we at the Dairy Male have learned of the tragic suicide of Nu-Metal singing sensation Chester Bennington from Linkin Park. His brave yet fated sword battle with depression has been well documented elsewhere, his chronic moping-about probably all starting with him being lumbered with a prescription for National Health Service 'jam-jar-bottom problem-glasses', or something.
Wednesday, 19 July 2017
Tuesday, 18 July 2017
Monday, 17 July 2017
Sunday, 16 July 2017
Saturday, 15 July 2017
The blows came in thick and fast in this epic encounter between the immortal Conor MacLeod McGregor and Lloyd Mayflower Jr. Early in the contest, McGregor hit Maypole with a heavy book, which stunned Fairweather with its complicated vocabulary and was deemed a low blow by referee and father Lloyd Carlweathers Sr.
Friday, 14 July 2017
The revamped totally new yet the same as before Dairy Male is back with an Alt Right exclusive that will make your blood boil, stomach turn, heart sink and winkie shrivel. We can finally reveal why darling of the Alt Light and Alt Right Lauren Southern avoids the JQ and doesn't get her tits out for the lads.
|Lauren engaging in masculine pursuits|
Tuesday, 7 March 2017
|GTKRWN: Juan Thompson|
White supreemist Juan Thompson has been charged with attempting to kill six million Jews with homemade bombs. The 31-year-old genius and journalist constructed the explosives following the instructions of a Youtube video featuring former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis' instructions. The bombs were ingenious in their simplicity, having been made from toilet roll inners, blue tack, tampons and baking soda.
Tuesday, 28 February 2017
|Kaufman on holiday in Whitby|
Labour MP, Fabian Society member and Voivode of Wallachia, Gerald Kaufman has finally died at the tender age of 612. It has not yet been ascertained whether Kaufman died from decapitation, a stake through the heart or exposure to sunlight. Members of the LGBTJQ+ society have expressed other concerns, however.
Thursday, 2 February 2017
|Kelly "Twilight Sparkle" Osborne|
Celebrity crack whore Kelly Osborne is facing a firestorm over comments made back in 2015, when she complained that sending back illegal immigrants would leave her with "no Spics to clean my shitter, thanks to Donald Trump." She apparently feared Trump's new wall would cause a backlog in her bathroom.
Monday, 23 January 2017
|Model moid, but woik is trying up|
Mike Peinovich alias Mike Enoch has been found along with his wife Ames. They were discovered coming out of the Poark East Synagogue together, where they both insisted to our reporter that they had been getting a divorce. Ames Friedman-Peinovich-Shekelberg wore a figure-hugging Mürdoch Chan SS uniform for the occasion, while Mike sported a white Hermann Goering number that complemented his ample frame.
Sunday, 22 January 2017
|Robinson at a refugee shoot yesterday|
In another astonishing media fabrication, we can exclusively reveal vile Millennial Woes aka Colin Robinson's plans to exterminate the refugee race. This comes after attending a refugee shoot yesterday in which the vile racist managed 88 kills. This brings his handicap down to 14 under par.
"I could have done more," he boasted vilely, "but I stopped at 88 in memory of the Führer's glorious meeting with the Czech Foreign Minister that began the annexation of Bohemia and Moravia."
But we have news for him. One of the refugees he winged died later of complications in hospital, so take that you vile racist!
Vile Millennial Woes changed his real vile name to Colin Robinson when he became a professional racist, naming himself after the golliwog on the jam jars just to be more offensive. He has also reportedly founded the fascist Purple Shirts paramilitary group with which he intends to take over the world.
Asked about his vile plans for the refugee races when he takes over their countries, he said simply, "Showers, gas and ovens."
Tuesday, 17 January 2017
|Artist's impression: Have you seen this woman?|
Police are investigating after the disappearance of Mike Peinovich's wife yesterday. According to one of their neighbours, a buck-toothed, hooked nosed man with peyot and binoculars, she was last seen in Pernovich's luxury kibbutz in Boro Poark in New Yoark, after having taken a shower and was heading towards the oven.
Monday, 2 January 2017
|A nervous R2D2 yesterday|