It is with great sadness that we announce the zombification of film director George A Romero.
In an alarming parallel of his film career, Romero has gone from being a vibrant inventive film-maker to lurching from one meal ticket to another, feeding off easily-pleased cinema goers, and joins the likes of Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Steve Guttenberg among the walking dead.
Asked about his career in showbiz, Romero moaned and growled slightly, echoing Mel Gibson's sentiments about the Hollywood Jews.
In other news, actor Martin Landau died yesterday after being eaten by George A Romero. Landau miraculously survived for many years in a poorly-made model lunar base, when the moon suddenly left its orbit, contrary to all laws of physics, which only science fiction writers have been able to explain. He managed to survive on sci-fi conventions and (((financial investments))). It is now being speculated as to whether Romero is following a kosher diet.